Why Am I Running The Grand Rapids Marathon?

This is for the one person who actually follows this blog, but is probably too shy to ask the question. You noticed I switched from the Detroit Free Press Marathon to the Metro Health Grand Rapids Marathon. I thought maybe you would like to know why. The first reason is that I haven’t renewed my passport and I am afraid I couldn’t get it done in time. The second reason is that it will involve an overnight stay in a hotel instead of driving to downtown Detroit, my daughter is the most excited about that.

The third and probably more powerful reason is because this looks like a seriously fun event. One look at their FAQ answers explains a lot.

Some of my Favorites:

Can I take a Baby Jogger on the course? How about having someone ride beside me on a bike?
No! Let me restate that: Hell No! You’ll be disqualified and taken off the course if that happens. (Local authorities tell us we’re not allowed to shoot you.) There’s not enough room to safely have that happen. The only bikes on the course are the lead bikes. The only strollers/joggers on the course are with the My Team Triumph group which starts a half-hour early. DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE.

How about dogs?

(See the “Hell No” part of the baby jogger discussion above)

Cutoff Times? Do you have cutoff times for either race?
YES! We’d really like it if you finish on some day ending in a “Y” Stay perpendicular and cross the FINISH LINE. We’ll save you a beer.

Is whining allowed on the course?
NO! You signed up for this on purpose. Deal with it. I don’t care if you were drunk when your friend talked you into it.

Perhaps my favorite:

What’s the course like?
It’s long. Officially 26.21875 miles. Mostly flat. Actually, there are a few hills between 7 and 12 miles, but none of them are liable to kick your butt. Well, maybe the one at 12, but it gets over with pretty fast.

What’s the Marathon Course like? It’s long. Now that is funny. And just to wrap it up:

You mean there really are stupid questions?
Yes. Does the water go all the way around that island? Why were so many Civil War battles fought in National Parks? What’s the difference between an orange? (One’s a fruit and the other’s a color.) Do these pants make my butt look fat? (Just pretend you didn’t hear and change the subject quickly.) When you walk down the street, do you sing “Do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do”? (This is pretty silly) Hey Don, can I buy you a beer? (DUH!) Oh yeah–my friend and fellow race director Dave Craker contributed this one from one of his emails: “I just found out that the half-marathon is over 13 miles long. How long is the four-miler?”

I am really looking forward to racingrunning the Grand Rapids Marathon and may even have a beer at the end.